Sweet Emily was due on the 2nd of August. I had been having quite a bit of false labor in fact I called my parents telling them it was time to come and they came but then the baby didn't. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Nathaniel but then he came for real like 36 hours later, this little one didn't. We thought for sure she would come early or at least not too late because of all of my false labor. On Wednesday the 6th I really thought it was the real deal which would have put me 4 days past due, that was what Nathaniel was when he finally came. Looking back I wonder if my body was ready and tried but she was just too big. Anyway I went in for an appointment on Tuesday the 12th, 10 days overdue. They did an ultrasound and told me my baby was 12 lbs 12 oz. At first I laughed because I knew she was a big baby but as the day went on I started to get nervous. We really wanted to have another unmedicated VBAC, but then I got nervous at the thought of squeezing out an almost 13 lb baby. After talking to my husband and mother in law I got some much need comfort and we figured that if my body went into labor on my own and started progressing that meant my body was ready and could do this but if not I would just have a c section. Because I am a VBAC induction is not a great idea because of the forced labor and we all (midwives included) felt like it wasn't a good option. The doctors told me to just schedule a c section for the next day because Wednesdays are when they try to schedule all of their c sections because it is the day they have the OR scheduled for them and it's just easier. Even though I knew I would have been 11 days overdue if I did that I had to wait until the last moment or else I would have wondered the whole time if I had just given her one more day if she would have come. So I asked if I could wait until Friday which would put me 13 days overdue and at that point heavily encourage anyone to be induced or have a c section because placentas aren't meant to last forever and mine was getting old. I had a couple contractions randomly a few days before but I think she was just too bid, who knows.
On Friday morning we showed up to the hospital and spent 2 hours filing out paperwork and getting all set up and ready to go. We went in for the c section and the whole Time I was impressed how little pain I felt even the shots from all the anesthesia, getting poked over and over again was very painless. It is so nice have a planed C-section verses an emergency one. Everything is so calm and happy and not rushed. I didn't really feel anything during the c section which was good Jonathan and I talked to the anesthesiologist and just chatted while everything was going on and then the doctor said "are you ready for delivery dad?" So Jonathan looked over, they pulled her out and the doctor said "wow, you did not want that coming out of your vagina!" We all giggled and they lifted her up so I could get a quick glimpse and all I saw was a wrinkly forehead, but it was a cute one.
I was very conscious this time around and after they took Emily away I chatted with Jonathan for a little bit and then they sent her back over so we could hold her. Because I was laying down and still had the drape just below my face it was kinda awkward to hold her. She basically laced her on my collarbone and I used my hands to try to keep her from rolling over my face. I did ok for a few minutes but then one of my arms started going numb so I told Jonathan he should take her. He looks so good holding babies it was a great just to watch him hold her.
Jonathan left with Emily to run all the other tests while they finished stitching me up and moving me to the room. They both came back pretty quick and Emily latched right on and nursed for 40 minutes. I was blown away! It didn't hurt at all it was like I had already been nursing her for months I was very surprised but pleased. We cuddled a little and then she nursed for another 20 minutes. This girl knows what she's doing! Aside effect of the anesthesia I was on was that it made my face super itchy. I kept trying to dose off while holding Emily but every 3 minutes I had to itch my face and it would wake me up, it was so obnoxious. The nurse came in and asked to hold Emily because she looked a little "dusky" which I wasn't sure what they meant but she was grey. They got her pink again and Jonathan started cuddling with her while I tried to sleep with my overly itchy face. We all kinda dozed but the nurse came in and took Emily because she was really grey again and they couldn't really get her to cry. They came back and said they needed to monitor her for a couple hours in the nicu. My parents were just about to bring the boys over to meet their sister but we called them and said you better wait she is being monitored. No one was happy about it but it needed to be done.
Emily has stayed in the the nicu since then. Because Emily was so big her arteries are having a hard time opening up enough to get oxygen to her lungs. We can visit her as much as we want but we can't hold or nurse her or really stimulate her in anyway because that makes her breathe harder which is only bad because she starts to expel a lot of carbon dioxide which alters the ph of her blood and is bad. So we can sit by her and put our hands on her and that's about it. It's been very hard to not have her with us in the room and to not be able to hold her. They did call us down when it was time for her to eat and they let me hold her while we bottle fed her my pumped milk plus a little formula which I really appreciated. Just holding her for those 15 minutes or so lifted my spirits a lot. She has only been in the nicu for 26 hours or so but it seems like she has been gone forever. The oxygen she is on is helping her a lot she is showing a ton of improvement. We are hoping by Sunday night she will be off oxygen but we will just have to see. I feel like I am in the middle of that marshmallow experiment where they say you can eat one now or wait 5 minutes and then you can have 2. I want to hold her so bad and nurse her now but if I wait for her to get better then I can take her home and have her be healthy as opposed to delaying her progress and keeping her here longer by holding her now.
I have been feeling great my pain was like a 2 or lower this whole time so this afternoon when they came to give me pain meds I asked for a half dose but then I showered and walked around for the first time and now I am feeling it so I am back on full doses :) I have to remind myself that even though I feel really good I am not super woman and I still need to take it easy.
The boys have come to visit me but still haven't met their sister because we need to keep her calm and not stimulated. Little Jon is doing well Nathaniel doesn't understand why we don't come home and has a hard time. I think he is realizing life is changing but he isn't quite sure how yet he hasn't seen the whole picture. It will be good when we can all be home together again.
Overall we are all doing well, just tired of being separated.
13 days overdue
Going in! Can you tell I am excited?
First picture before the took her away
In the nicu
Holding our sweet baby girl
